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воскресенье, 19 марта 2017 г.
I want my <<El Rey>>. eiswein wilder 21:44:59
It's so sad to see who I've become. I don't want to accept it but it's foolish to deny the obvious. I became the person I swore I'd never be. The only to blame is me. No one else. It's my fault. Of course I could convince myself that someone else's fault, but it is deceptive. Maybe someone took part in my fall, but only partly. Just because I let it. Honestly I am a different person. Someone else. And even I don't fully understand what it was. And it fvkin' hard to admit. I'd like to change, but is it possible? How can I force time to reverse itself? I cry every night because I'm hurt. And no one understands my pain. I begged God to end it. To take my pain away. Give me a power to walk away. But it's getting worse and worse. Hah, it's funny, but I don't think I'm gonna live a long happy life. I just sincerely hope I'll be able to spend at least a day, an hour, a fvckin' minute with a man that will love me. Truly love. I want to feel it! With someone who will give me a moment of joy and happiness. Who can give me a ray of light and love. Oh, well, I just think I deserve something more than just sexual attraction. Yeah, I'm really think so. I fvkin' believe it. Right now, I'm so broken by you. I smoke another cigarette sitting on the window sill. Look like little drops of rain roll down the glass. And I feel so crappy. Only now my head is spinning truly great thoughts that will again break on the stone hard reality. I deserve to be coming home to someone. I wish I needed someone as a person, not as a body. I'm always afraid to come home. Because there's no one inside. I feel so alone. So lonely like never before. I'm afraid I'll never be able to find my man, to will take me for who I am. The one who wants to fulfill me, to live a dream with me. I'm so fvkin' need it. Right now! Please...

Категории: El Rey, Usefull, Stop, I'm so f/cking tired, I hate you, Fvckin' sht
понедельник, 3 октября 2016 г.
f/ck eiswein wilder 13:04:07

I know what sometimes can be a stuff but you should stop to blaming me for everything!
Seriously! I'm so tired of all this shit...

Категории: Little me, Stop
суббота, 23 июля 2016 г.
Broken doll eiswein wilder 19:09:34


­­<< Run for cover
­­My sense of fear is running thin
­­Just like a candle in the wind >>

These words I hear every day. I often say to myself. Every time stumbling, I scolded myself. But is it right? I'm a mortal human, which is created for errors. I just have too high standards. I have no patience. I can't wait to do. I'm used to now! Never seen the world so worked up. In order to obtain the award you need to work hard. Hmm, who said that? If I want the money, so I have to go to work, right?! I can't just walk into a Bank and take the money. Just. No refund. To say that I for personal needs and to leave. It does not happen. Sorry.
What am I writing all this? Just tired to bother for the sake of achieving the goal. Tired of constantly having to mentally fight with the world to get what you want. I was told that everything will be easy, if you want it, but for some reason I don't see it. All is not as it should. I will say that destiny gives me a chance to change their mind? And if I don't?! Then you need to Bang your head into a stone wall and hoping that it will break before your skull. Maybe I'm setting the bar too high! Demand too much. Time goes by so quickly and I'm not afraid to make it. Afraid to be suckers. So you want beautiful tales, and have really horrible nightmares.

Категории: Stop, Think about it, Time to change


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